It may come as a shock to a great number of people, but I can’t change anyone. And neither can you.
Some people think that someone has all the answers for their problems or that a certain person can fix them. They believe that this person can change them and that will be different simply because of this person.
This belief has been around as long as I can remember it stems from unknowingness about how personal change works. The people that believe someone can change them, all good intended, just don’t know that they can’t change anyone.
The truth of the matter is that a person can only change through his or her own willingness to change. People can only change through their own doing. This means that the success or failure of a person to change their life is only their own.
However sometimes a person doesn’t know how to change.
Someone can be completely stuck in their own problems and uncertain how to get out of them. They might know where they want to go, but they don’t know how to get there.
This is the most common occurrence and precisely what an expert in change can help a person do.
But what can someone who specializes in change actually do?
When a person is stuck and doesn’t know how to change their life, I can show them new perspectives on how to live. This alone will not change someone, but it will give them powerful clues on how to proceed.
By showing them these new perspectives of life it challenges them to reevaluate how they are currently moving throughout life. When they do this they can also consider new ways to empower themselves going forward.
The change then happens when they see the change they want to make and know how they can make that change, but most importantly they have to have the incentive to go ahead and make that change. When this happens the change is natural and easy for them to make.
There has to be an incentive to change.
This incentive they need is when making the change in their life will mean more for them than staying the same. This also means that the cost of making the change will not be too much that they will be unwilling to pay that cost.
For a person to go through with their change it has to be in their best interest, they have to know that it is in their best interest (unconsciously or otherwise), they have to know how to make the change, and making that change has to be worth it for them.
You might say that you thought change now was supposed to be easy since I do Neuro-Linguistic Programming, and it usually is, if someone wants to make the change.
After doing this work for some time now I’ve come to the realization that it isn’t someone who changes someone else, but change happens inspirationally.
So what is inspirational change?
Inspirational change is how all change happens in one way or another. What happens is that you show someone a new perspective on life (in whatever way that is) and they find a way to incorporate that change into their life (in however they see fit.).
This type of change is not forcing someone to do something and instead it is gently giving someone else a way about going through life differently.
There are ways to inspire and influence to have a greater impact on someone and change process, all of which I have learned (NLP), but more than anything inspirational change is giving that other person the opportunity to come with you into new perspectives and to apply whatever is useful for them in ways that they see fit.
I am of the mind that I don’t know the right way to do something for everyone. While I have advanced knowledge on topics in just about any kind of life change someone would be interested in, I know that what is right for me might not be right for you or somebody else. This is powerful for when you are working with someone else.
Everyone has their own processes and their own ways of change.
To be an effective change worker it is about helping others facilitate their own change and providing guidance for when they are doing so. Something that I have also found to be useful is the study of the mind and the structures of change. This can help anyone become a more effective communicator or change worker.
There are certain patterns of the mind that most everyone go through and by being proficient in observing these patterns, I have found the common links that bring others from being stuck to realizing where they want to go.
While people still have their ways about changing, most of the patterns stay the same, but by knowing all of these things inspirational change becomes easier. People can change in moments with your guidance.
When you go throughout the world notice how no one can really make you do anything and that they can only inspire you to do things. You may also notice that these same people have certain patterns of doing anything and that these patterns are common all throughout life. Find the patterns and find the keys to life.
When you find these patterns and observe the similarities in life then you will be able to understand even more fully how to inspire others to do things and how to get them to change as well. Even yourself.
It’s not magic, but it might as well be.