A problem that troubles the vast majority of people is not being able to define what they want. Probably the biggest mistake that people make with their lives, communication, or any other aspect of their daily existence is an inability to point to specifically what they want.
Sure these people have goal setting sessions and have identified where they want to go in life – whether that is getting out of debt, making more money, having a better relationship, losing weight, or any goals they might make – but what happens is that these large goals, which are great to have, get lost in the actions that a person makes.
Absolutely it is imperative to have these goals. Even more important is doing the things that are leading you more towards your goals and having your actions align in that direction propelling you to that destination.
Let’s get really specific and look at this for a moment. A man wants to have a happy harmonious relationship with his significant other.
This man then proceeds to talk incessantly to his wife after she gets home from work about things that she did or didn’t do. Let’s say she didn’t text him back quickly enough or she forgot about something or she somehow made him feel unappreciated. It doesn’t so much matter what it is she did, but more of a concern of what he did and what he is doing.
In anywhere in your life ask yourself if you are contributing more or less towards your outcome.
This example of the relationship shows a man who is working through his best intent, making himself feel good, maybe even safe and secure in his relationship, but if his goal and his outcome is to have a happy, harmonious relationship these actions are going to directly oppose this primary aim as I’m sure you can image, this barrage doesn’t not inspire harmony and happiness within his wife. More than anything it is a lack of clear focus on what the man wants most, one that has become impinged with another competing desire.
When know what you want clearly, you have standards to judge your life by. It’s rarely the case people clearly identify exactly how they would like their relationship to be. It is even less the case that people take the time to stop and look at how their actions are affecting their fulfillment of getting what they want to compound the problem here.
Knowing exactly what you want will also help you determine your next course of action. One of the biggest problems for others is where they are trying to get out of debt and build wealth. Clearly defining that you would like to be out of debt is one thing, then taking the next step of aligning your actions with this goal is imperative.
What can be troublesome here and with these people trying to get out of debt is the conflicting goals and aims that they might have. These are often put upon them by society, family, or even the media where they are going after things that they were unaware of or values that they are trying to fulfill that oppose their path to being debt free.
Sure they should put money in a 401K and they should save up for retirement. I strongly agree with this, yet when it inhibits someone from achieving their outcome of getting out of debt first then I strongly oppose this action. I have much more on how to get out of debt and how to save money here.
See the thing is, you have to sit down and determine how you want life to be. Then, what is the one thing you can accomplish that will help everything else you want to accomplish get done.
With that knowledge and knowing that you have time left to create whatever you want, you really need to focus and design exactly what you would like to build.
Have that vision and look at all those aspects. I imagine you are financially abundant and have at least one amazing relationship. How is your health? Then what I want you to do is look at the one thing that is most important and will lead to the fulfillment of that vision.
In doing this years ago, it was getting out of debt for me. This led to better health, better relationships and a better life for me. However, this can be different for you and what is most important is to prioritize what would make the difference for you.
Maybe you are at a place in your life where you need to have the relationship you have been looking for in your life. Great. Define exactly what that is and focus on that area and how you can get there. Then ask yourself if all of your actions are leading more towards that destination or away.
This can be the most challenging part as information can oftentimes be false or irrelevant towards reaching your goals. If you have been following a map of relationship success that is terrible, you are likely to have terrible results as well.
Do the hard thing and be really critical and really thoughtful in what you want and how you are going to get there. If you need to ask a mentor or join a mastermind group.
For most aspects of life, it really shouldn’t take too long to get where you are looking to go. Define it clearly, develop a strategy for it, then always ask the questions and make sure your actions are in life with what you want.